Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Why do horror movies suck

I know that sounds like a pretty broad topic, but I am serious. Why don't we have any original horror movies any more? You can only see so many movies about a ritual to remove a possessed soul before you get sick. The Exorcist was the last great movie about possession. Then you go to Zombie movies were there are like a million of them. But let's stick with the best. I can't choose between the Omega man and the Last man on earth. They both have pretty much the same premise and are both great movies. One has Charelton Heston, the other Vincent Price. Next to Alfred Hitchcock and Bela Lugosi, I place Vincent Price. I know that there are people that think Boris Karloff or Christopher Lee were better actors than the poor heroin addict Lugosi. I have to disagree. I think that any modern vampire owes it to Bela Lugosi. He was the first great vampire and the best. The look, his accent, the thing he did with his fingers because he was double jointed.....Brilliant. For the Ghost movies, I have to go with House on Haunted Hill and the Corpse vanishes.The recent trend of the blair witch style wannabe documentary bullshit makes me sick. A bunch of poor acting being hailed as masterpieces. I also want to take this time to say DAMN YOU to Steven Spielberg for making paranormal activity. With slasher flicks it is hard to name an all out leader. I like Michael Meyers and Jason Voorhies. I know some of you will try to convince me that jigsaw or Freddy Krueger are the best. While Freddy has the whole fear factor with dreams, Jason kicked his ass. Jigsaw is nothing more than a doctor who was pushed too far. Looking at all the people that wasted their lives made him snap. Sure there is a nice spin to it, the story lines are watchable and the devices he uses are pretty cool, the whole thing is unentertaining. It is almost like they are trying to one up the last one in a gross out and see if they can do more things that make you wince in pain. I have not decided yet if I am going to watch the new one in 3-D yet or not. The predictability may be too much for me. Oh and movies that use Native American traditions to scare people is just plain insulting. Making light of another persons religious beliefs and trying to make you afraid of them is assanine.Oh, and while I am on all things assanine, Will Smith is not allowed to star in any more horror movies. Until I saw seven pounds and persuit of happiness I thought he was a one trick pony. We need an action star to act tough and walk around saying "Aw hell no" and act like you are a badass cause you are black. Ripping off every stereotype associated with black people. What happened to that little kid from philly who tried to show a bunch of rich guys in Bel Air how to be real again? Attention directors and producers ripping off horror movies from another country in an attempt to make money here is a little too hypocritical. You take a movie from another country recast it sometimes and sell it as the english version and make money, but when people download your movies for private personal use you throw a fit. I hope you can see the bullshit in that. The more I watch I am Legend the sadder I get. I am seeing that all Resident Evil is, is a cheap rip off of this movie. There are things from all of the Resident Evil movies in this movie. Which also makes them a rip off of Omega Man and the Last man on earth. Oh well, as long as Mila Jovavich keeps playing Alice I will keep seeing them. It is sad that we can't have any of our own ideas. We have to remake the shit out of older better movies. We are doomed.

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